Co-Parenting Boundaries: List of Rules

You may be surprised at how straightforward co-parenting is with a clear set of boundaries. Believe me, co-parenting becomes easier over time. To help everyone get to a good place quicker, we’ve created a list of rules to follow for peaceful and effective co-parenting.

The unwritten rule here is to keep it simple. You and your ex are not in a romantic relationship anymore and you don’t have to be especially friendly. Each of you has a parenting job to do. Co-parenting boundaries help sharpen your focus on to what matters most: your own parenting tasks and the kids in general.

This list of rules works for almost every situation. You could have the issue of a new relationship a narcissistic or toxic ex, high conflict or inappropriate behavior. Whatever the case, follow the rules consistently until you get into a nice routine that works for everyone.

Benefits of Boundary Setting

The advantages of setting and maintaining healthy co-parenting boundaries include:

  1. Less conflict and Improved communication: These two benefits go hand-in-hand. With clear boundaries, there is naturally less room for disagreements, and this subsequently fosters improved communication. An environment with minimal conflict is crucial for the child’s well-being and mental health.
  2. Decreased stress: A direct outcome of reduced conflict and improved communication is decreased stress. Parents who aren’t constantly on edge can provide a more nurturing environment for their children. It’s also healthier for the parents themselves.
  3. Less room for misunderstandings: By setting clear expectations and boundaries, misunderstandings are less likely to occur. This streamlines co-parenting responsibilities and ensures both parents are aligned in their approach.
  4. Greater self-respect and Increased sense of control: Establishing boundaries and adhering to them not only gives a parent greater control over their own life but also bolsters their sense of self-worth. This has the added advantage of modeling healthy self-respect and assertiveness for the child.
  5. Less anger towards others: As boundaries are established and respected, a parent is likely to develop a greater understanding of the importance of boundaries in general. This can lead to reduced resentment or anger when others, including the co-parent, set and enforce their own boundaries.
  6. Increased clarity on mutual expectations: This benefit is intertwined with reducing misunderstandings. When both parents know what to expect from each other, it decreases the chances of unintended overreaches or lapses.

While each of these benefits is individually important, their collective impact on the well-being of the child and the mental health of the parents is immense. The interplay between them creates a harmonious environment for successful co-parenting.

1. Use a Custody Schedule

Timtab Co-Parenting Schedules and Plans
Image credit: Timtab Co-Parenting Schedules and Plans

The first boundary rule is to keep your child or children only as allowed by the visitation or custody schedule.

As with everything else in life, you need a plan to succeed in the co-parenting game. You should have a parenting plan that comes with a (usually fortnightly) custody schedule. Some parents start with a custody schedule and build a parenting plan from that base.

Each parent needs to know exactly when it’s their time to be with the kids. The schedule must be followed, with both parents being punctual and reliable with changeovers. Precision is important. A few minutes here or there is OK but children and parents shouldn’t be put out due to a lack of punctuality.

I recommend for developing the best custody schedule for your situation. The app generates an optimal schedule based on case factors, such as child age and how far each parent lives from school.

Ideally, you can sit down with your ex to agree on a schedule (or modify an existing one). If your relationship is so bad that you can’t sit down for a talk, have a mediator or lawyers in the meeting to discuss and write down the schedule. Once everyone is comfortable, ensure everybody has a copy of what has been negotiated.

2. Follow the Parenting Plan

Parenting Plan

Rule number 2 is to follow the parenting plan.

One of the most problematic issues in co-parenting is when one or both parents don’t follow the parenting plan. I’m assuming you have a plan since it’s an essential co-parenting tool. Chaos, confusion, anger and disappointment can quickly ensue when a plan is lacking or not fully respected.

It’ is perfectly okay to request an adjustment to a parenting plan every once in a while. But making a habit of departing from the plan can cause your co-parenting relationship to unravel. The remedy for persistently deviant behavior starts with mediation but could end up with both of you in court.

When it comes to healthy co-parenting, especially when you have shared custody, the plan is the law and should be followed to the letter unless there is an emergency. If you must, vary the parenting plan by agreement. You can occasionally make reasonable requests and should accept reasonable requests from your co-parent. But the default position is to stick to what has been agreed in writing.

3. Ignore a Toxic, Narcissistic or High-Conflict Ex

Father and son smiling

The beauty of your ex being an ex is that you can ignore them. Once you have a parenting plan in place, you don’t have to deal with them. Any day-to-day issues can usually be handled with just a quick text message.

If you aren’t one of the lucky people with an emotionally mature ex, you might expect accusations and drama. That doesn’t mean you have to take it though. You have the option of walking away quietly when they raise their voice, dropping the call when it gets argumentative, and choosing not to reply.

Whatever their problem, whether it’s narcissism, another personality disorder or just a messed up relationship with you, they can’t inflict their problems directly on you if you never give them a chance to do so.

You always have the choice to be non-reactive and to keep your peace. The secret is knowing that miserable people thrive on making others miserable. You are free to not get involved with your ex and any negative interactions they try to initiate. If they create a real problem for your child, mediators, lawyers, the court and child protective services can potentially intervene on your behalf.

4. Communicate in a Business-like Manner

Professional communication

Rule 4 is to communicate in a business-like manner. Do this always, every time if there is any problem with conflict in your co-parenting relationship.

Don’t cross the line and start making judgements about the other parent or using emotions to try and get what you want. Breaking through these sorts of boundaries takes your communication into areas where you don’t want to go.

Having to share children with your ex can easily brings some raw emotions, at least for a time. Unfortunately, many people have been caught in the trap of fighting their co-parent verbally and unleashing all manner of insults. However, this only makes things worse. To avoid any issues:

  • Keep all your communication business-like and professional.
  • Treat your ex the way you do your boss, with the utmost respect, few words, and professionalism. This will ensure you don’t say too much and end up allowing your emotions to take over.
  • If this is not possible, communicate only in writing or through mediators until you master the art of business-like communication.

5. Only Communicate About Your Child

Happy boy in car

Yon only have one topic of communication with the other parent: the welfare of the child or children. Make this a rule of thumb, especially early in the co-parenting relationship.

The truth is, in most cases, it’s impossible to be friends with your ex immediately after the relationship ends. This is because the two of you are still going through the grieving period – with anger, bargaining, and regret among other possible feelings.

So, for the time being, until maybe when you reach acceptance and get over each other, keep your communication strictly child-based. You should avoid talking about your days, feelings, plans, or anything else that isn’t directly about the welfare of your child or children.

6. Your Ex’s New Relationship is Not Your Concern

Ex dating

An important boundary to respect is that your ex’s personal life, including any new relationships, are not your business. You don’t really need to know what they’re doing and you probably have little control over the situation anyway.

When a relationship ends, it’s normal to want to know who your ex is dating. And co-parenting could be seen as a valid reason why you should know what’s going on. New relationships can significantly affect your child after all.

But, the reality is that your ex-partner’s relationships are no longer your business. Trying to control their relationships is only likely to cause problems.

Generally speaking, you should refrain from asking your ex about personal matters, making comments, stalking on social media, or asking the kids for information. If you feel tempted to do any of these things, techniques are available to help you deal with your ex being with some one else.

In the same breath, you should be discreet about your own relationships. Don’t stir your ex by revealing much about what, if anything, is going on in your life.

What if a new partner is abusive or dangerous?

Some caveats to the “mind your own business” rule do apply of course. Sometimes, a new partner can adversely impact a child, such as when there is possible abuse of some kind or dangerous practices around the child such as drug use.

You can’t break a custody order because of a new partner unless the child is in danger. In this case, you need to contact the authorities or child protection services.

In extreme circumstances, especially if you have evidence of harm, you could start mediation or custody proceedings. The aim might be to increase your custody share or put harm minimization measures into the parenting plan. For example, there could be a rule that a parent is not allowed to have overnight guests when the child is present.

7. Be Concerned with Your Own Parenting Only

Mother parenting her young child

The next rule is to concern yourself with your own parenting more than the other parent’s methods. With co-parenting, you can only change what’s within your control and the other parent’s style is not one of these things.

A common pitfall experienced by co-parents is being overly concerned about the other person’s parenting style. As much as you would like to parent the same way, every person has their own style, and it’s difficult to change it.

If your co-parent is a permissive parent while you are more of a disciplinarian for example, stick to your parenting style – within reason. Don’t worry too much about what happens when your child is in the other house. You may need to adapt somewhat, by loosening the strings a little so you don’t disenfranchise your child, but don’t try to fix what the other parent is doing. 

Fortunately, children are bright and know how to adjust their behavior from one situation to another. Having a middle ground on certain issues can definitely be beneficial however. For instance, when bed training your little one, you could agree on the bedtime so your child has it easier. You should also try to agree on curfews if you have teens. This way, while there may be some variation, there is also continuity between households.

8. Refrain from Bad Mouthing the Co-parent

Father talking to son

Mind what you say about your ex to his or her child. Boundaries don’t relate only to your ex-partner. It’s also about how you relate with the children concerning their mother or father.

Some parents bad-mouth their ex in front of the kids or use the children as weapons against the other party. Parental alienation is one of the worst things you can do as a co-parent, both morally and because of the psychological and relationship damage to your child.

While there may be raw feelings towards your ex, it’s important to remember that children are innocent in all of that. Play your part to ensure they have a healthy view of both parents and always talk highly of them in front of the kids. In case of any issues, address them directly with your ex instead of involving the children.

9. Default to Parallel Parenting

Soccer mom

Parallel parenting, meaning co-parenting with limited interaction between parents, is what you should default to unless you somehow develop a more friendly approach. It is entirely possible to succeed as co-parents without ever going beyond the parallel parenting style.

The ideal situation is that you get to raise your kids together, celebrate birthdays together and attend their school functions together. However, that is not likely to work well during the first years after separating or perhaps ever.

When you aren’t great friends with your ex, parallel parenting is okay. Here are some tips on how to do it.

  • Complete changeovers without stopping to talk with your ex.
  • Have a birthday? Let the child have two parties, one in mom’s house and one in dad’s.
  • Agree on arrangements for who will attend football games, who will do recitals, and all manner of things.

Until it’s possible to sit in the same room without any negative feelings towards each other, stick to parallel parenting. Remember that the important relationship is the one with your child, not your ex.

10. Allow Free Child-Parent Communication

Mother retrieving phone from daughter

The last boundary is that you must allow free communication between children and parents. In practical terms, this means allowing your child, when old enough, to have a phone so they can contact the other parent without going through you. For younger children, you can support communication in other ways – such as by lending your phone or using Skype, Zoom, etc.

Separated parents are often tempted to think of their time with their child as their special one-on-one time. But you have to respect that a child’s life extends beyond that. They may have good reasons, both practical and personal, for getting in touch with the other parent while with you.

29 thoughts on “Co-Parenting Boundaries: List of Rules

  1. My ex is abusive. Mentally and physically. He stroke me at 7 months pregnant and kicked me out of the home I was living in that night at 4am. I was scared and just wanted to get out of the home and tired and wanted to get to my parents I messed up by not calling the police to the scene. I went to the hospital later that week because I was suffering with anxiety and Braxton hicks. I completed a police report once I got my health situated. Till this day my ex lies and says he never did anything to me and I left in my own accord. When I do confront him about this ordeal he tends to switch up his story. Either it never happened, it did happen but I was the aggressor, he never hit me, “I’m crazy” etc etc. the verbal and mental abuse was the worst of them all. He continuously told me I ruined his life by becoming and choosing to stay pregnant. That I should have just killed the baby when I had the chance or to still try an abort him up until I was 7 months pregnant. When we were together he actively smoked weed, shrooms, and testosterone. I couldn’t get him to stop any. He did not and does not really help me financially. We were estranged for the remainder of my pregnancy once my son was born he wanted to be around and I was terrified but the other alternative was him threatening to take me to court and get custody of him so I tried to be civil and cooperative with him. However during one of our first supervised visit when the baby was 2ish months old he threatened me and got hostile to the point that I believe now mine and the baby safety was at risk so I cut the visits off. He is not on the birth certificate. This pass November I got served and he is fighting for custody in Florida. There is a new law that allows fathers to have the same rights as mothers which is nice for all of the same safe fathers out there but in my case I feel defeated. I believe my ex is a narcissist and is only doing all of this to show his family he’s “a good dad” not really to play the actual role. I don’t feel comfortable at all with my son being alone with him. My lawyer recommended allowing supervised visits again since Florida will most likely allow him overnights. I’m terrified. My son is only 7 months, he is too young to 1. Be displaced and off his routine 2. SIDS is high during his first year 3. How do I know he will not put the baby throw exactly what he did me. He wasn’t always nasty and cruel it gradually happened. And a child can make you frustrated and a sane person knows how to regulate themselves I’m concerned he will not. How do I know the house is drug free now? He also has a male roommate. He doesn’t hold a job longer than a few months and it’s all commission.. how does child support work then.

    There are so many what if and hows… all I want is for my child to be safe! For my son to feel secure in his routine and my boundaries on what is best for him to be respected.

    Ideally I like for there to just be supervised visitation and that all for now until he is older but Florida doesn’t care. So realistically no overnights until he is capable of speaking. Open communication when he is with his father. My infant not being left with ANYONE besides me his father and my mother if needed. I don’t know my ex family too well but from my experience with them the way they operate is messy, enabling and very old school / traditional. Talking down to children, spanking, handsy, and high conflict/ avoidance. I don’t want my son at this age ALONE and around all of that until he is taught the necessary life skills from me to guide his time with them.

    There is so many what ifs. I’m terrified. I feel like my lawyer is failing me after I’ve already lie 4k for representation… the abuse I went through is deem “not enough” because he didn’t go to jail or there wasn’t any injunctions. He has a criminal history with battery and that doesn’t even matter apparently. The drugs are he said she said. Basically I have to give him my son and entrust his life and safety with him until he proves otherwise. So backwards. He has given me a total of $300 since I’ve become pregnant and throughout the baby’s life and it’s been very inconsistent. He doesn’t get pampers, wipes or any of the needed things. I do it all without a full time job currently however I just graduated from going back to school so hopefully it changes soon.

    He is really only available on the weekends to see the baby. Any tips or parenting plans that worked for y’all let me know. ( I know until the baby is maybe 7 we will need more communication than most coparents and that’s okay I know how to deal with him and I just want to make sure my kid is ok.)

  2. My co parents ex’a girlfriend is involved way too much because “she couldn’t have children” so instead of supporting me as her mother , he support her more because she doesn’t have a child. For example: my ex’s gf feels the need to sign her up for a sport without letting me know and my ex didn’t let me know, she ruined my daughters preK graduation by throwing it in my face that she shares a necklace just like mine that had my daughters birthstone…she’s buying all her school supplies without me knowing and now she is insisting on being there for her first day of kindergarten when she has two fully capable parents to be there. But my ex completely supports her. What do I do????

    1. Mandy-
      I’m so sorry this is hurting you. Sucky situation. The best advice I would give you is to ignore her as much as you can. You don’t owe her your time and attention. If she loves your kid, great. But you are her one and only mother. Nothing she does or gives you daughter will ever change that. But you don’t have to praise for it, if it feels like she is fishing for it.
      Hang in there. Sending a hug.

      1. Don’t compete. She has things she can offer your children that you can’t and vice versa. Never put her down in front of the kids- it only hurts the kid. As a step parent, she is a parent in the kids life. She doesn’t replace you- you both can compliment each other. Best things for the kids is to see no tension or feel no tension between any of the parents (bio or step).

    2. I’m dealing with the exact same thing. She is too old to have her own children. Their whole family believes that I made my sons dad get a vasectomy and for some reason she continues to show up at kindergarten and wants to be at other elementary school functions. But when I invite her to come into the principals office to talk about my sons aggression and talk about the violent video games, he is allowed to play at his dad’s house. She says “ I don’t make the rules and our house.” the way I see it is if you are supporting my child, then you understand that violent video games far too mature for his age are affecting his brain development. A child should not be exposed to games rated beyond their age. The violence in the video games is causing him to be in a higher state of fight or flight response mechanism, creating an overflow of dopamine in his brain and causing addictive behaviors to set in. But no one in that household agrees with me.
      That household just promotes whatever dad and his wife want because he’s a video game addict and she has no children of her own.

      I keep advocating for my child. I also am firm that my son speak up for himself, if he does not want his dad‘s wife to attend some thing he needs to say that in front of me and his dad unprovoked. It literally makes my son really uncomfortable when his dad‘s wife comes to things because then he feels like he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings, but he’s going to be there for his mom and his relationship. My son knows he gets one mom no matter how much she tries to shove herself down his face.

      1. As a step mom- it isn’t her job to discipline and set rules at the house. That’s the bio parents responsibility. Remember she’s there to support your son and it takes a community. Think of her as a bonus Mom to your son and not someone to compete with.

  3. I enjoy rolling up the window, when the other parent is speaking… highlighting the numerous attempts of secondary schooling and failing….

    Also counting previous relationships that my co-parent had that don’t last… “its not a good ride, but there isn’t a line either”

    My favorite, take your medicine before you discipline our children… we don’t need you falling apart

  4. So much suffering! Reading through, one’s gender or role doesn’t seem to matter— if there’s an unhinged and vindictive person on the other end… or even just an extremely shallow one, they will throw the child under the bus just to try to be in complete control/ & or cause suffering to a loving parent & family. I feel for each of you.

    I’m here because we’re actually trying to enact parallel parenting but have no idea how to formalize if the other party won’t agree to it.

    1. Parallel parenting doesn’t require the other parents agreement. It simply means that you parent how you choose when the child is with you. Your home, your rules, your boundaries. You ignore how the other parent does things (unless it puts the child in danger of course).

  5. My son is 9 and my ex has been impossibly difficult throughout his life. Having been military, I have been called away many times. This has been used to manipulate my son into thinking I do not love him. She has even said these words repetitively to him enough that when he was finally with me, he repeats this. She never lets communication happen without being present on even phone calls not letting him speak, but instead coaching every word and response. She continuously oversteps and intrudes on my personal relationship with my wife and newborn. She makes threats and keeps him away from me, defying the court order for visitation. All with a sole mission to increase the amount of money she takes from me. She refuses to allow me to have time and uses military and other means as a way of perpetuating this control and I return, the child support calculation is impossible to fluctuate, since in Florida it is entirely dependent upon number of overnights. How can a father protect against this kind of financial manipulation and abuse when the state law is so corrupt as to not allow investigation into this clearly bias and unfair rule? How can a father even have a healthy relationship with a child when these atavistic laws grant one single party control based solely on old-fashioned “mother-bias”? We are in the day and age where gender doesn’t constitute wage or eligibility for work. It is a gross violation of humanity to allow for such bias in such an intimate area of law. To make things worse, my ex continuously harasses me, my spouse and family and friends. When I do have my son, she is constantly calling and starting arguments to make him upset and want to come home. She attempts to breed unrest when he is here so to further manipulate even during my limited time with my son. My hope is little considering that my country, even having sacrificed my life and time to defend her, continues to turn its back on me and so many other fathers and most important, this negatively affects children in the worst way. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

    1. I know what you’re going through, and experiencing the same as you are (if not exact, VERY similar).
      For reference: I’m a 3rd wife, California, 3 step kids from 2 HighConflict moms/husbands ex wives- our oldest (13) had the same behavior as your 9yo including the same behavior has the mom- my heart breaks for you both and your family… I’m writing you in case you feel lost and/or helpless, as we would have appreciated some kind of heads up/acknowledgement to our pain when we were trying to navigate/ find answers. I’ll try and make my points short and to the point for you to further look into:

      1) Look into PAS (parental alienation syndrome) to get an idea of what’s going on with your ex & 9yo., and to give you relief that you’re NOT CRAZY! ***Note: I’ve been told by our lawyer that this is not a good choice to bring up in court. ALSO, most judges aren’t versed in PAS, as it’s not in the DSM, and is regarded as controversial in the medical community. Becoming familiar with this is for your sanity ONLY, and to know what you and your kid are up against so you can wrap your head around the chaos; also, for what to expect in the future, far or near. I BET you’ll go down the list of signs for PAS and check off most if not all boxes :/
      2) Watch Divorce Corp (incredibly depressing, but worth the watch, and sadly true).
      3) Look into “dad support groups” – this has been SO helpful for my husband, as he was searching for advice on how to deal with this crazy behavior, esp how to show support for his kid, while under the brainwashed control of the mom. My husband has found a great community of supportive fathers in this group (Not endorsing this by any means!!!):
      Either way, support for yourself from others who understand and have been what you’re going through HELP – for both your mental health as well as your relationship with your child.
      4) Understand that YOU’RE the “chosen parent” or as widely regarded, the “targeted parent” – yes, you’re targeted by the unhealthy ex, but more positively “chosen” by the kid, since they most likely KNOW that your love doesn’t come with strings, and that you’ll be there for them no matter what. VERSUS, the parent that they side with: most liekly your kid KNOWS that they need to protect this parent, and is siding with them cuz they’re: a) afraid if they don’t they won’t be loved by them b) afraid if they don’t side with them that it could drive them down a spiral of pain. ***YOU are the stronger/loving parent, and your kid knows this. Nothing personal, just an act of survival.
      5) I’d recommend to speak with a family law lawyer on clear/succinct concerns you have written out (FL may be diff than CA) for them to advise what would hold up or not, to a your judge… they’d know best since they work in the system and have seen outcomes many times… HOWEVER, be cognizant of not spending too much money on back and forth with lawyers, as you can spend a detrimental amount of money, with no positive outcome to fix the initial problem.
      6) Try to be at peace w/whatever outcome you get, and AVOID GOING TO TRIAL (as well as court $$$)… we know people and have read stories, of dads (or an order-abiding parent) who who think going to court will correct their defiant/non-law abiding HC ex’s behavior, and have spent an insurmountable amount of $$$ trying to make a change for the “best interest of the child”, thinking that the court/judge will see what’s going on… AND FAIL. This is happened to us, although we’ve kept our $number somewhat low (again, watch Divorce Corp). This devastates me, as we feel hopeless, but have come to terms and made peace with waiting for our estranged 13yo to understand what’s been happening, herself.
      7) Your kid is 9 right now, so try and get in front of this before they get any older, or mom ramps up brainwashing/get’s even more control (again, not sure of FL laws, but in CA the court would “listen” to our kid’s (brainwashed) “wishes” at age 11… she’s now almost 14, estranged, and it’s DEF too late to consider any other possibility for changes to custody for the “best interest of child”. Our kid is alienated/brainwashed, so we wait and see when she get out of it on her own terms – all while paying full child support since she is no longer in our home, and continued harassment from the mom through the Talking Parents App.
      8) It WILL most likely get worse until your ex is satisfied with her intended grief, for a while, until she goes for Round #… and you’ll suffer, but with the right support around you, you’ll get a sense of peace how to be there for your kid (albeit differently, but in the way she needs you, showing your support in the gentlest most calmest way, not begging them to change or placing guilt on them).

      Ok- so this msg was by no means SHORT! lol… I just want to help you understand what is most likely going on, and a way to stay healthy so you’re ready to be the best parent possible for your kid, when they’re ready to escape the mental abuse from her mom. PS – it could be when they’re 10… 16… 25, but it DOES usually come… Best to you, truly!!!

    2. With all of the harassment, can you file for a restraining order? To keep your ex from contacting your wife, family/friends/work?

  6. I’ve come into a new relationship and found it difficult to adjust with the amount of communication in co-parenting between my new partner and his ex. I currently co-parent my child on a parallel parenting basis.
    There are FaceTimes every night in which the child is not interested in having and text messages nearly every day over small things that don’t always need to be communicated over.
    It’s nice that they can communicate so well but when is it too much? How do you distinguish whether it’s a necessary conversation about the child or just used as an excuse to communicate using the child as the topic

    1. I’m in the same situation. He thinks it’s great that they communicate so well now after some previous challenges but for me it’s too cosy and spending time every week on changeovers at each other’s places doing things with the kids, sometimes having dinner or a cup of tea has me feeling really uncomfortable. Any suggestions on this would be amazing. He says it’s great parenting.

      1. So just to follow up with the too much communication post. Did you bring it up with your partner or?
        I’m in the same boat and it’s starting to emotionally hit a nerve and I’m confused as to why? If I really don’t mind it that she calls but I do, when we’re in the midst of dinner or I’m having a family event and he’s on the speaker phone with her!? I guess it’s how’s he’s going about it too.

    2. It probably is an excuse. Do you know how many men leave their first wives/baby mamas because they don’t like being held accountable and get an ego rush from parachuting into a new relationship and then get another ego rush from getting attention from the first wife/baby mama while in a new relationship? Hey he’s got two women on a string – the old and the new and he can just tell you he’s doing amazing co-parenting. If you feel like a man doesn’t care enough and he’s showing too much interest in another woman, he is. A group of them aren’t that complicated. They do what they like and don’t think anyone can/will stop them especially women who don’t realise they’re being played. Good luck but my bet is if you think the child is an excuse to talk, it is.

  7. Is it ok for two parents to take the child on a outing together if one of the parents in a relationship?

  8. There is plenty of good common-sense advice here like sticking to your parenting plan and communicating in a business-like manner. For me though, there’s also a real hidden gem—the advice to avoid the toxic ex. I’ve seen friends perplexed and mired in unnecessary battles with an ex that just can’t let go and tries to inject themselves into their ex-partner’s life via the custodial arrangement. This should be avoided at all costs.

    1. Man
      The people worried about coparents spending time together. They are not no longer family because they didn’t choose each other
      They are always that child’s family unit. That child always wants to see their parents get along and do things with them and having a fluid almost friendship like relationship described here allows for parents to see their kids freely and not worry so much about the court orders everyone argues about
      They can actually work together
      If your ex is going to cheat with his ex, he will regardless of what you say or do so just be thankful
      That child has parents who do better than most and leave your relationship worries separate.

  9. It’s really difficult for a child to have a broken family and it really takes a lot of effort for 2 partners to make it work. If you need to seek advice with your dating and love life please reach out to me and I can definitely help out!
    – Pete (Men’s Dating Coach)

  10. i feel as if my rights have been took away due to the father getting custody 1600 miles away the judge decided because he paid for private school come to find out he didnt pay for the school and it is open to the public. i took him to court to let the judge know he lied and my relationship with my 7 and 5 year old continue to vanish and i dont know what to do at this point

    1. YEP. Join the MILLIONS OF WOMEN (PROTECTIVE MOMS) that are going through GENDER BIAS IN FAMILY COURT! Men want to make it seem like it’s all about them AS USUAL that poor fathers have lost their children to a ‘vindictive’ ex protective mom, judge sides with the father ALWAYS NOW. Even if the mother didnt do ANYTHING unhealthy and just chose to remove her and said child from a toxic abusive household that HE created!! WE ARE CALLED STAND UP TO ABUSE (WOMEN ONLY).

      1. I think what we can do is be firm in our boundaries and do everything needed to protect our children. Doing a CPS case in good faith to make sure the child is good w/ the other parent. Bringing in a behaviorist and therapist so everything is documented and literally try not to engage much and built a case and take them back to court. Also we need more woman in politics and in family court who have gone through this because a lot of judges can care less for the children

      2. Watching my daughter go through this currently. The father is Inconsistent narcissistic mentally, emotionally, verbally and some physical abuse she has suffered for 7 years and verbally and emotionally abusive to their boys. They were never married and he has abandoned them many many times over the years. He hasn’t been involved in their lives except for events and holidays from 2021 to current he has seen the boys 10 times and mostly for just a few hours because they were family events or holidays spent at extended family members houses. He hasn’t seen the boys since April 9th 2022 but blames her for keeping them from him…he says he misses them but doesn’t make an effort to see then. He will message to make plans but then blow them off and blame her for not letting him see them. She gave him 2 months advance notice of days for him to visit he didn’t show up and told her those days didn’t work for him but turns around and offers the same thing she had offered but because it him suggesting it, it gives him.control or something. That was the issues we all noticed in theor relationship was he was very controlling and tried to isolate her from her family and friends. She refused to move out with him because of financial reasons which he did his best to convince her he could cover it all. Thankfully she and her boys remained with her father and I. I honestly believe if she and the boys moved out with him they wouldnt be alive today. His threats to burn our house down, ram a roll back into her car, had her in a headlock, grabbed her wrists to keep her from calling me when out one evening. There are many things that have me worried for my grandbabies should he get them alone. He doesn’t ask about them or see them or even support them. He just wants to hurt my daughter because she won’t go back to him and he knows the only way to do that is through the boys. I pray the attorneys and GAL and the Judge will see him for what he is and rule in her favor. It isn’t healthy for any child to have to be in this situation or be with an inconsistent uncaring emotionally and verbally abusive parent. I don’t understand how any therapist can say differently. I have many friends who suffer still because of being forced to see an abusive parent because the court says so. As adults they still deal with the effects of forced visitation. What’s in the child’s best interest is a safe healthy stable environment. Not an inconsistent abusive narcissistic parent. The victims get victimized all over again in the courts. Its time the courts wake up and the stupid therapists and realize that the only one looking out for the children is the sane, healthy, consistent parent that has been there since day one doing it all. Children don’t need 2 parents they need ONE mentally and emotionally healthy, stable, supportive, loving, caring, nurturing parent. I know many single parents that have raised very well rounded successful loving caring stable children and I know many married couples whose children aren’t doing so well or many other broken families where the kids go back and forth and they hate it and struggle to feel secure in who they are or find stability in theor lives and they turn to alcohol and drugs to find some kind of comfort from the disfunction of their lives. Each case is different and there shouldn’t be a one size fits all kind of law in place. Family law and courts need help and need to stop protecting the abusers and protect the victims and the children. GALS don’t know the situations they make an educated guess…how does a stranger know what is best for your child? They don’t. They only see a brief moment into your life and claim to know what is best for a child? My heart breaks for anyone dealing with family law and our court system…I fear for my daughter and my grandbabies but feel helpless in helping them.
        God I pray she wins her case. I pray for all of you going through this.

        1. Oh Nina
          So many of these things apply to me right now with my ex babydaddy … he’s a drug addict & mentally unstable.. he has threatened to ruin my life for leaving … trying to get me fired and tell Centrelink we were in a defacto relationship for 5 years , even though he has never supported us , and never been with me for my 3 pregnancy’s or births or newborns … our relationship has been on & off constantly.
          He’s now threatening to have kids 50/50 which I know he couldn’t even handle 3 who are still really little & actually threatens to take them away from me with court orders on me..
          I hope things turned out okay with your daughter , he sounds awful.

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